So some of you are here because you are faithful loyal blog followers who like reading my blogs.
I love you people!
Some of you are here because you saw a picture of a cute goat and wanted to have a look.
You are my kind of people.
The rest of you are here because you have been following the progress of my semi internet famous goat.
I’m not really sure how to feel about that yet.
When I first started writing I thought “It will be fun! It’s good therapy, and maybe I’ll even be a famous writer lady someday!”. I did not really expect to become a famous writer lady, mostly because I would probably have to eventually talk to people and I’m not so comfortable with that.
The thing I did not expect was that one of my goats would rise to fame far faster than I ever would.
Here’s how that happened.
Last fall my daughter, Huggy, bought a new buck to breed to her girl goats. Her girl goats are all Nigerien Dwarvs and fainters. If that doesn’t mean anything to you just know that it means that they are short. Their backs come up to my knee. This makes them a little easier to handle.
It took Huggy a while to find the buck (boy goat) that she wanted. She finally picked out a pretty long haired guy. He was easy, cheap, beautiful, and friendly. When we got him home, though, I noticed a problem. This boy was only like twelve inches tall at the shoulders.
I had my doubts as to whether or not he’d be able to get the job done without a step ladder.
After a few months not just one, but every girl that guy came into contact with was pregnant.
The most obvious of all was Stella.
Stella got big. Then she got huge. Then she became so enormous that she developed her own gravitational pull. She was not miserable, though. She was quite happy. Which made making fun of her a little bit easy.
One day, after singing to her all day about her girth, I posted a picture of her on a goating page with a little rhyme that I was constantly singing to her.
Stella, Stella, 2×4 can’t fit through the big barn door!
Stella liked it. My daughter liked it. The entire internet liked it.
Okay, not the entire internet, but over a thousand people “Liked” it.
“Wow!” I thought “Good day for this writer!”
A few days later I took another photo of her. If possible she was even bigger.
Stella, Stella, 2×4 can’t possibly hold out too much more!
Her due date had come and gone. I wasn’t overly sure about that date, though. All of the ladies were seriously trying to romance that boy daily. It became such a problem that we ended up rehoming him.
Then, a couple of days later, a photo of her lying down looking even more massive.
Stella, Stella, 2×4 doesn’t feel like standing anymore.
Stella was now what you call internet famous. If I went more than a day without posting an update, people would track me down. It was an odd feeling.
Stella had her own unofficial fan club at this point. I’m thinking about selling t-shirts as a farming fundraiser.
“This is what being a famous writer is like.” I announced to my family, proudly.
“No,” corrected one of my children “this is what owning a famous animal is like. You’re not really all that interesting.” You can always count on a child to humble you.
Owning a famous animal is better than being actually famous because people just want to see your goat, not you. I prefer it that way.
On June 4th I posted yet another picture of this poor, stretched out goat. It was starting to feel like a certain giraffe.
Stella, Stella, short and wide, she can’t run and she can’t hide!
There was definitely no running. She could barely waddle, but she was still happy.
Until she wasn’t.
That night we got home late just before a thunderstorm rolled through. I ran around like a chicken with its head cut off rushing through chores. I also noticed that Stella was running up and down the fence line looking behind her like something was chasing her. Nothing was chasing her.
Something in my brain was triggered and I remembered the last time she did this.
“Help me get Stella in the barn!” I shouted to Huggy. “Stella’s having those babies tonight!”
We got her into the kidding stall and stood there watching her for a while.
She settled in and started looking bored.
We went out and checked every hour.
She looked amused.
Then I went to bed. I went out right away this morning and I was finally able to complete my Stella song.
Stella, Stella, 2×4. Had two kids
And then two more!
Stella is the (very) proud momma of two boys (both black with white ears like their momma) and two girls (grey and white). They aren’t any bigger than the 9 week old kittens we have which was a little concerning until I remembered how tiny the daddy was. They are strong and healthy and I am hoping she is able to feed them all. She seems to be doing a good job so far.
So, Stella, your time in the spotlight as the pregnant princess is over. It is time to get down to the work of being an exhausted momma. Maybe next year you will rise to fame again.