I don’t know if you’ve been shopping lately or not, but something has seriously changed at the store. Back in the day, when I would go shopping with my parents, stores were awful. The lighting was terrible, the air was recycled, and the music was annoying. It was like the store was on a mission to give me a horrible headache so I would leave as soon as possible.
Today, the lighting is still terrible. Everyone looks jaundiced. The air is still recycled. It smells stale and not so fresh. The music, however, rocks.
I’m pretty sure this is a new development and in no way a sign that I am aging.
Today, at the feed store the music was especially good. It was like I had hopped into my hot tub time machine and traveled back to the late eighties. There was George Michael, U2, and Bobby Brown.
I had half of my children and The Pastor with me. One of the children had recently done something that required a punishment, so after I loaded chicken food and rabbit food onto my cart, there was just one thing left to do.
Full on, highly choreographed, professional quality lip sync performance of Bobby Brown’s “My Prerogative”.
It was awesome.
The Pastor was proud. The store employees were impressed. The other customers were envious of my abilities. The best part? The child who had just gotten into trouble was mortified.
I may not have dished out the spankings like I should have. I may not be able to yell very loud. I might never ground my children (because let’s face it, grounding the child is really more of a punishment to the parent), but I can guarantee you that my children very rarely misbehave in public.
This is because there is no greater punishment than having your 44 year old, overweight, dorky mom serenade you in the middle of the store with 80’s hip hop. Unless she includes her awkward, uncoordinated choreography.