Today I went out and ran errands with Second Son. This is kind of unusual because Second Son doesn’t usually go too many places with me. Apparently I am going through a phase where I am embarrassing to fourteen year olds. If he could talk to my best friend from when I was fourteen, he would find out that I have been going through this phase for a very long time.
After Second Son’s chiropractor appointment, we walked into Walmart. I specifically told my son that we did not need a cart because I was only getting three things. I needed a vacuum cleaner belt, paper towels, and flour. It was a small list. I did not need a cart.
Twenty minutes later we were checking out. I was embarrassing Second Son because my arms were loaded down with a vacuum cleaner bag, dates, raspberries, disinfectant wipes, a kombucha, doughnuts, and a case of paper towels. Also I kept dropping things.
If you were paying attention you are now wondering how long it took me to remember the flour. It took me exactly one stop and ten minutes to remember the flour. By this time we were on the opposite end of town and I really didn’t want to turn around. It would be a waste of gas and I didn’t want to reward the Walmart employees who wave to me as I leave and call out “See you in ten minutes!”. I spend a lot of time at Walmart. I was in luck though, because there is another grocery store on that end of town. On the down side, that grocery store is quite a bit more expensive than Walmart, but on the up side, I hardly ever get the chance to embarrass my children at this other grocery store. I decided to go to the more expensive store.
After a walk through the more expensive store I had peaches and granola. I was just about to check out when I remembered the flour. I was so proud of myself. I walked over and picked up one bag of unbleached flour.
When it was my turn to check out, I noticed that I had left my wallet with my credit cards in the car. In my unlocked car. We live near a small town so this is perfectly normal. As embarrassing as it was for Second Son to be sent out to the car to fetch my wallet, he would have been far more embarrassed by what he missed out on as a result.
As the cashier was ringing up the flour she said “Oh! I can’t sell you this! It’s been recalled! You’ll have to go back and get a different bag.”
I went back and grabbed a different bag and returned to the cashier. She said “I can’t sell you this bag either! It’s been recalled too.”
I sighed and walked back to get another bag of flour. The cashier looked at me like I was a bit crazy and said “You keep bringing me the same kind of flour. It’s been recalled. You can’t buy it.”
“Well, why do you have so much of it on your shelves?” I asked
She didn’t have an answer.
Now I went back and grabbed some bleached flour, in spite of my ethical opposition to bleaching food. I returned to the cashier to have her say “This kind has been recalled too. What were you going to make with it?”
“Bread.” I responded.
“Oh! You don’t have to make bread!” she chided me like I was an idiot. “We sell bread here! You could just buy that! That way you won’t endanger your family with the E. coli that they are finding in flour.”
I stared at her for a moment. Then I asked “What exactly do they use to make the bread you sell here?”
She then glared at me and quickly found a bag of flour that was acceptable to sell me. She may or may not have purposely picked out the bag containing extra E. coli.
It was at this point that Second Son returned with my wallet and we left the store completely satisfied. Not only had I embarrassed my child, I had also successfully embarrassed the cashier.
Do you want to know what would be terribly embarrassing? Not showing the world your love for The Pastor’s Snarky Wife! Please share any blog post that makes you smile! Or think. Or smile and think. You know what? You should just start “liking” and sharing!