I am happy.  Wait, don’t throw up.  I’m not annoying, I’m happy.  This may not seem like a big deal, but I was walking through WalMart (because I live there, practically) and I realized what an unusual thing it is to be happy.  People are, for the most part, miserable.  What’s worse, I’m not sure they want to change.

How do I know people don’t want to change?  I know this because I hang out with The Pastor.  There are a few things you have to get used to when you spend time with The Pastor.  The first is that people will stare.  There is no way that you can spend time with someone that obnoxiously gorgeous and not attract a few stares.  The other thing you will quickly get used to is that, like most Christians, The Pastor believes that God loves you and wants you to be healthy and happy.  If you are not healthy and happy, The Pastor will ask if he can pray for you.  You would be amazed at how many people refuse this prayer.  What’s more astonishing, is that the people refusing this prayer are not refusing it because they have a problem with prayer.  They are saying things like “Oh, it’s okay.  I’m used to it.”  WHAT?!  What does that have to do with it?  You don’t want to feel better because you are “used to it?”  Do you realize how that even sounds?!  Now, if I am sick or sad, I will welcome any prayer!  I will welcome your “well wishes sent out into the universe” or anything else you have to offer, because when I am sick or hurting, I want to get well.

Maybe you want to be well too.  If you do, you can have The Pastor pray for you.  There are also things that you can do every day that will improve your life.  You see, I am a firm believer that if you think your happiness is going to come from someone or somewhere outside of yourself, you will never find it.  I would just like to help you look a little deeper within yourself.

Top Ten Ways to Feel Happier by Tomorrow

10. Evaluate.  Think about your life today.  Think of all of the ways it is better than it was a year ago.  There should be at least a few things on this list.  If there is nothing on this list then what the heck have you been doing this last year?  Sabotaging yourself, that’s what.  If this is the case, then you are in need of a good therapist or a twelve step program.  Don’t worry, neither one will hurt you.

9. Go for a walk.  Alone.  No phone, no music, no kids, no anything.  Okay, maybe your dog, but that’s it!  It doesn’t matter if you walk fast or slow, or a short distance or a long distance. This will help your brain reset AND it will fill you with some nice endorphins.  Endorphins make everything nicer.

8. Find someone to laugh at.  No, not your partner or kids, that’s mean.  Go to a comedy show.  Can’t afford a comedian?  Read a funny blog.  Already read all of my blogs?  Try reading Illustrated with Crappy Pictures.  That girl is a riot!  Or just sit and have a discussion with a four year old.  That can be pretty hysterical too.

7. Take a media break.  Get off the computer, put down the phone, and turn off the TV.  We all know that there is nothing in those places that will make you happy.  If there was, you would be delirious by now.

6. Download.  This means talk.  As in, out loud.  As in, to an actual person.  Don’t have anyone you can trust?  Then you are probably a little paranoid.  Also, you should try a priest or pastor, they are not allowed to share your secrets, not even with the police.  Unless you are a serial killer.  If you are a serial killer, then…well…I have no idea what to say to you.  If you are not a serial killer, but still can’t trust anyone to talk to out loud, adopt or borrow a cat or dog and talk out loud to them.  Hint: Dogs have no idea what you are saying but pretend they care.  Cats understand everything you say but think you’re stupid.  It’s really your call.

5. Let some sun in.  News flash: You are not a vampire.  Open your windows or actually go outside.  Vitamin D is so good for you.  Get some sunshine on your skin, or at least in your bedroom.  It doesn’t take much to make a big difference.  Do you remember how happy you were as a child in the 70’s?  It’s because you were outside soaking up vitamin D from dawn until the street lights came on.  What? You weren’t alive in the 70’s?  Shut up.  And, also, I’m sorry.

4. Be nice.  I know, it might be a stretch, but do something nice for someone else.  Without complaining.  Or expecting anything back.  Invite a single neighbor over for dinner.  Take cookies to the local mom’s group.  Volunteer at a nursing home.  It doesn’t matter as long as someone else benefits.  Doing things for others makes us happy.  I don’t know why.  It’s like we’re hard wired that way.  Gee, I wonder who would do that…

3. Detox.  I’m not talking about cleaner eating, I’m talking about the people you spend time with.  We all have toxic people in our lives.  Maybe it’s the complainer who can’t seem to say one nice thing about anything.  Maybe it’s the attention whore (yes, I said whore) who needs everything to be all about them all of the time.  Maybe it’s the discourager who needs you to feel bad in order for them to feel good.  Maybe it’s the inappropriate person who just makes you feel uncomfortable all of the time.    If someone leaves you feeling exhausted, negative, or just bad every time you see them, you need to dump that person.  If your heart feels sick when you see their name on the caller ID, you need to dump that person.  You do NOT need to be mean about it.  They know they are flawed.  Simply explain to them that the relationship is not healthy, and you need healthy.  So do they.

2. Donate.  Giving what you have makes you lighter and happier.  Find a charity you feel passionate about and support it, both financially and with your words and actions.  Focusing on making a positive change in the world, and giving to make that change, plants a seed in you that will grow into something beautiful.  It is not cheap to make positive changes in the world and most of the places making these changes are run by people who work 40+ hours a week for little or no pay.  Help them out a little.

1. Stop keeping score.  Oh, this one can be hard, but it is so freeing.  If you give someone something, expect nothing in return, OR DON’T GIVE IT.  If someone else gets something, or is living a lifestyle that you want but don’t have, LET IT GO.  If it feels like your parents or in laws or boss favor someone else over you, SUCK IT UP.  Keeping score will only exhaust you.  I can honestly tell you, I learned a long time ago that keeping score is pointless and it was the most freeing thing that ever happened to me.  As a matter of fact, unless you are a professional athlete, the only time you should keep score is when playing card games, mostly because the only thing I love more than card games is beating you at card games.  ❤

There you go.  Do all of these things by tomorrow and I promise you will be happier.  Or too exhausted to complain to me.  Either way I’m happy.  😉

Do you know what would make you deliriously happy? Sharing this blog.  I promise.